Life Lessons

There are many things in life that teach us lessons. I was deeply moved by a women who was 93.


The woman, out of respect for her, and she recently passed away, I will not reveal her name right now. She would be the first to tell you she had a wonderful life. She grew, married, had children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her life was rich with love, and she had her fair share of heart breaks and hardships that we all experience.


She is mourned by her family, and those who knew her.


Her obituary was not like most, because she wrote it, she wrote knowing one day it would be a very short story of her life.... she was adopted. Back in time, when she was born to a unmarried mother and father, it was shame that a family gave for a baby born out of wedlock. Her mother had no choice but to give her infant up for adoption. The laws then were court sealed papers, generally biological parents were erased out of the child's life, as if they never existed.


I cannot tell you of the woman's family who adopted her, she really did not speak of them, but when she learned she was adopted, she was treated like she was to be shamed. Like other adoptee's, she had a deep desire to learn of her biological family.


She was raised in a German culture, her genetics were not of the German descent, and she never felt that she fit into this culture.


When she became a adult, she searched for who she was, without the aid of computers, or the internet, she went to the city of her birth, and she dug for any information she could get. It took her years, and finally, with all the odds stacked against her, she was able to find her biological family. It was only then, when she met her mother, her father, that she fit in. It brought peace to her heart.


Her obituary was simple, but it spoke of truth, it begins when she was born, where she was born, who she was born to, and it listed her birth parents name, then it stated she was adopted by, Mr. and Mrs. and that she was raised five hundred miles from her place of birth.


Those who proceeded her in death were her parents, her adoptive parents and her husband. On her survivors is listed her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and a half brother. A BROTHER! Her biological father later married and had a son! She was so joyous to find him, and get to know him before she passed away.


Through her, we learn, that when taken from your real family, and forced to live a lie, never stops knowing when you do not belong, genetics go way deep into the soul. Inside, you know, you know you don't belong. There is a desire deep inside that wants to connect to your place where you should have been in life.


Perhaps the greatest thing I learned from her is that she detested the German foods she was forced to eat, she much preferred Italian foods, she knew that when she grew up, sausage and kraut would not be a staple in her house, and as it turns out, her mother who carried her for nine months, was Italian, and thus, those foods were imprinted on her biologically.


I am not against adoption, but adopters need to look to the history of a family and see if this child will be happy with their life style, because no matter how much money they have, you cannot change the genetics of a child. You cannot force a child to like foods, sports or hobbies if that is not part of a child's genetic makeup.


I am touched that someone who graced my life was able to teach me so much, not just in life, but in her death.


I wonder what Veronica Brown Capobianco will chose for her obituary? What will she have to say about her life? Being forced away from a family who loved her, and wanted her. Taken by a selfish childless couple in their desire to obtain this child. Will she even mention the Capobianco's?


Veronica's life story is being written as she grows, it is up to the Capobianco's to watch themselves in their behavior as to how she will write about them...